I’m no philosopher

I’m not a Monist, although I would agree that God is everything, not, however, that God is all there is. I have a strong belief in my own existance, and all living things (whether they be efficacious or not) as valid entities in an authentic cosmos. I also have a belief in a mental and physical God, although my faith in a seemingly tangible universe, and the organisms contained within it, is much stronger than my faith in the attributes of an ultimate divine reality.

Possibly, if God does have these attributes, they might (or need to) manifest themselves via a cosmic emination of some kind, thereby rendering communion. The cosmos, then, can be understood as a kind of divine outerbody, or garment. Without the cloth of creation, God is, so to speak, like The Invisible Man, and we are unable to receive communion. In this senario, it’s probable that matter arises from mind, and if God does have a form of physicality, then it is not as we might understand it, postulating the probablity of an unknown substance, that might also be at the heart of all living things.

Perhaps the communicative aspect of God’s outbody is a secondary aspect, the primary function, being to protect us (as individual entities) from destructive exposure to the primary substance. This is a primitive notion, but not without possibilty, and lies at the heart of the universal use of sacred space, and ritual transformation. The problem, here, as I see it, would be, how can the cosmos protect us from this destructive essense, without itself destroying us.

I am somehow, both of God (composed of God’s essence), and endowed with the gift of self-existance. My self-existance, although valid, has to some extent, become disconnected with my essence, that is, god’s essence. And so, I am both united and divided with my own self and god, and here lies the duality of existance.

I don’t think of Macrocosmic and Mircocosmic duality as two conflicting substances (mind and matter), or principles (good or evil), but rather, as some kind of intrinsic cosmic subtraction (as opposed to a Titanic addition), that has thrown ultimate communion and cosmic unity, off balance.

The indiscernible path

Considering the scope of humanity and the multitude of different beliefs and practices, it would seem next to impossible to choose the one true faith, and I’m sure for many religious practitioners, the act of choosing is, to a great extent, alleviated by external influences, through family members or acquaintances, and others who were themselves probably influenced in much the same way.

We are highly susceptible to external influences. Our haphazard lives shape us, mold us, for good or bad, each of us helplessly caught within a web of unpredictable interconnectivity, impossible to unravel.

Our thoughts and emotions are products of environment. We cannot escape the fact that individually we are only partly responsible for who we are, and yet, paradoxically, we are held completely responsible when it comes to making the right religious choices.

The awfulness of the situation becomes ever more apparent when we consider those whose circumstances have left them psychologically damaged are less able to make a rational decision leading to salvation.

Does God exist…

My faith tells me “yes God does exist”, but based on my own understanding I can never truly know the answer to that question. If I am to truly “know” the answer, such understanding cannot be reached by way of the head.

Unless, that is, I am to receive a revelation of such force (something similar to the prophet Isaiah, for example.) that penetrates into this reality, an unquestionable theophany, that would forever transcend the helplessness of my finite ignorance, then I would know.

Or perhaps I would be insane.

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Atheists and Fundamentalists are two sides of the same coin. They both claim they know something, yet they contradict themselves, blind to the truth that they are finite beings with limited understanding.

Only the questioning agnostic is truly free from this self-ignorance, yet even so, remains chained by selfish desires and finds no comfort in not-knowing the truth.

I yearn to know the truth, but I also waste time seeking my own fulfillment, caught up in my own ignorance and doubt and fear, and all the rest of it, waiting for a possibly non-existent god to show me the way.